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%%knife%% -- 2004-03-19 // 1:37 p.m.

first, it came out too easily.....and now these words mean nothing to you coming from me to you...i was just apologizing because theres a difference in saying it and really saying it, or so i was told...it hurt when you told me we really hadnt really said it for a while, that everytime it was said, it was just being said just to be said...to hear the sound of our own voices...but i meant it everytime...ive been thinking about that a lot, and ive been trying to not tell you so much, so the syllables dont get so worn out and you dont just take it as a whatever. i dont want the words to get old or the grammar to fall from the highest heights and respects, straight into a bottomless pit of meaningless darkness.....like a spectre of english. im sorry for upsetting you...im sorry that i upset you in general...but i cant be sorry, cause i dont know what im doing wrong...but i can feel sorry...dont condemn me just yet, please dont...just a minute, a hour, a day! im so petrified...my spine is in knots and my chin is on the floor...its so cold here...and i can smell blood in the air, armageddon is coming...who will survive? now your hiding, now your walking on eggshells, now your trying, and i know you cant take doing that for long. when i did it, it was different...if you dont stop, it will break you and one day youll just explode and nothing will be left. you dont have the patience, you dont have the will. dont explode...its like smashing a hammer on the tip of the same stubborn warhead over and over again, its gotta blow sometime...

fata-"alive out of habit"

In you I see further.

Can it last forever?

Identify your patients, XY configurations

Words are lost in your eyes.

One thought inside my heart.

Drop addicts in the mixture, falcons have blown the fixture

Think of me as days pass us by.

Shards of glass

Skies of gold

Steal my breath

Blood runs cold

Violet waves

Oceans blue

All my love

Lost in you

In you I see further.

Can it last forever?

Sinkhole that we would frequent,

White heels safe from extinction

Words are lost in your eyes.

One thought inside my heart.

I said that I don't need you, but I'm a liar, I swear I do, I do

Strip away

Vanity

I do

Just as you

Consume me

I do

Broken smile

Starless sky

I do

Save it all

Say goodbye

You're out in left field, and lacking interest

You fight the boredom but it makes no difference

Your mental health kid, that's what's in question

Keep acting obscure, we'll keep them guessing

The moment ideas are conceived,

They'll be out of touch, obsolete,

They're faking champions hand picked,

And all the fights have been fixed,

You wake to suffer through the day,

Trade a dream for the pay,

Well here's the fact I hope it sticks,

You're just alive out of habit

Shards of glass

Skies of gold

Steal my breath

Blood runs cold

Violet waves

Oceans blue

All my love

Lost in you

Strip away

Part of me

Just as you consume me

Broken smile

Starless sky

End it all

Say good-bye.

Think of me as I say good-bye.

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