places between awake and remembering dreams with a true pixie. wishing id've clapped sooner, before all the prettiest blossoms withered away. i wish that bus would have never of come. i wish you wouldnt have loved me. i wish youd have never lost whatever it was. undoing. pink skies. alcohol. what if i was seeing every color with a different perception than you. your orange is my blue but we grew up knowing different pigments with the same names and everything fit....there are infinite shades of every color so every one of them cant have a name can they? i meant every murder because i was an immature child. and i resent every blade and every slash. seeing your initials everyday....it still stings being right there although its all healed. i dont think ill be able to take this for very much longer....ive been slipping latly....maybe its january. reminisent january....now im crying alone in the dark with pianos filling my head...i know that its already been goodbye. i stayed home from skool because of butterflies on my mind. im losing so many memories, my brains not as good. i wish i was part of the 7....all i saw was me dissapearing.....i wish i woudl have never tapped on your shoulder, i wish i would have talked to you...i didnt mean it....such a sensitive subject that whenever it comes up i cant help but feel sad unless its negative towards me or rumours then i become asshole and i didnt mean it. i didnt mean to run here and tell the world. theres a funny thing about the phrase "die and wither away" its true, you do die first...but dying isnt half as bad as withering away. it takes so long and it hurts so much....even now just as bad as ever. just to talk to you....your not far...i want to go away...i wish we were still friends.

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